we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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