Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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