Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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