yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
