Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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