I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It's blow job season.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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