Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
if only i could text you this smell
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
