Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
