so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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