last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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