She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
