Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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