Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
