She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
