You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
