We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
