im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
