summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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