I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
