just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Randomize
