There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
