Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Green mimosas i think yes
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
