Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
