hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
