nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
