I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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