I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
honey bunches of taint.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
