Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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