Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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