i think i have herpe
just one?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
