I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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