apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he told me I talked like a deaf person
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
