My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
