i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
