You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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