I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
