You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
