I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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