oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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