Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
