$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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