Plan B is the new Plan A
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
