I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
