all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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