I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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