My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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