Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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