We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
