someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
The Olympian is in my bed
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
