I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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