a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
